It is not normal that I do a post like this but because of the holidays and so many changes in our lives right now it seemed to be a must. We went to church this past week and my pastor said something that struck a chord. Yes the old rusted one too that has always been there but I have touched in years. The same chord that gets you to nod up and down to a message, pardon my sarcasm : )

The verse that he shared is below:

In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.

1 Thessalonians 5:18 (King James Version)

He began by asking us and challenging us to not only thank God for the good times but to also thank God for the bad times as well, “In everything…”. I can’t remember ever thanking God for the bad times. The good times always seem to overshadow those memories or I seem to try and hide them well. They are the wounds that make me who I am. Yes they were painful at the time but all that remains is the memories in the form of a scar. It’s funny our physical scars remind us what happened when we got hurt and we can point out each extra layer of skin that now covers it and say “yeah this happened when I was riding a bike and they dared me to stick my foot in between the frame and front tire”. By the way from experience don’t ever try that at home. Anyways to get to my point here is my post thanking God for The Good, The Bad and the Ugly.

The Good I am thankful for:

• Breathing!
• My Beautiful Gorgeous Wife (I am the luckiest man alive)
• My wonder strapping boys who seem to keep this house from any dull moments
• My awesome family
• My God given talents and abilities to be able to make money from home (soon office)
• Two working vehicles
• I love my Job
• Living my own dream and not someone elses
• Excellent Clients
• Great understanding business partner and greatest friend
• A great church that I am finally warming up to

The Bad and the Ugly I am thankful for:

This one is a lot harder for me because the two lowest points in my life has to do with churches. See before I list this know that it is extremely hard for me to trust or even like church.

• The first church accused Elaine and I of doing something that I did not do and pretty much cut all the serving I was doing there. Heads were turn when my girlfriend (Elaine) and I would walk through the church. So we stopped going. It was years before we tried another church, but we did in fact move on. That scar was brutal and deep because I grew up in this church since I was 2 years old, 16 years attending!So why am I grateful for that? If this did not happen to me we would not have moved on to the next church (you will see why that was important next). But we did visit the church again after 10 years of not stepping foot in there. Everything so much smaller than I remembered. The whole time there I kept asking God to bless this church because it was where I met Jesus and where I was baptized.
• Not becoming an electrical engineer. I switched my major to art after 3 years of engineering. I will never regret that decision. I worked in an engineering firm for a couple and know for sure I didn’t want to do this, loved art and graphic design.

• The next church we attended was new and hip, like a fad. I ended up working here for several years and I gained lots of technical experiences about web, graphic and video. Everything was running great, it was lots of hard work, more work than family which was preached against. However, I was ready to stay there for the rest of my life. Then like that I was fired! With a lame ass excuse that “my God given talents and abilities don’t match where the church is going”. WTF!!! Tell me where it is going so at least someone would know. This led me to question my gifts from God. Lord am I good enough? Why do you give me talent and desire but yet my talents that are not good enough? The worst part is that I walked outside and of all days my wife had the car so I started to walk down the sidewalk as she was coming to get me… I can’t even say the next part without tearing up. Here I am walking down the sidewalk with some of my possessions on my back and it begins to rain. I know God has a sense of humor because you could have picked that scene out in my life from the saddest movie ever. This was the single most lowest part of my life. I loved these people they were my friends, my brothers and my mentors and yet I am not good enough. N – E – WAYS! If this did not happen I would not be in this beautiful city. I would not own my own business full time. I would probably still be slaving away, and for what?! To accomplish someone elses dream? What about my dreams? I think God has a different way of kicking my ass to get me to do things. He knows me too well. He knows that hurt fuels me to accomplish more. Sometimes it is in a bad attitude but it is definitely forward. He knows that my attitude would be “You hurt me?! Well ‘F’ all you see what I am doing now” attitude.

To tone it down now. If these two lowest parts in my life did not occur I wouldn’t be where I am today. I wouldn’t be who I am today. God and my family are the most important things in my life right now. Maybe that is what God wanted all along, and sure let’s throw in a dream come true in there somewhere. I just pray that I am finally here at my destination and that God doesn’t use a church to hurt me again, ha! I really want to get close but it is hard to. Because of this I focus on God, his message through the pastor, my family and my business. Will I get involved again… who knows I am still in this chapter in my life and sometimes it is hard for me to turn the page. Sometimes I try to lose the book marker too so I can claim that I am lost.

Don’t forget to thank God for The Good, The Bad and the Ugly!

In everything Lord I give you thanks! Happy Thanksgiving!